there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize