Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
