What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
