I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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