I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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