I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
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