Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
