Already got asked if we're dating
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize