I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
