# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
