Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
