Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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