Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
