True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
