it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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