You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you mean i was at the winter classic?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I could fuck to npr.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
