Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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