so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
