wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize