God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize