I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
