Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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