oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize