I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
