you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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