have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
