Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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