so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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