sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
