You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I CAN MOONWALK!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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