I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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