if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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