The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize