i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
