According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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