yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
