I didn't shave. On purpose
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
