I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
