I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
