Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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