Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
