Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
