Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's blow job season.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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