I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
