Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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