I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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