I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
