Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
