my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
