I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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