Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
