gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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