I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
