Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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