so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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