My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
