omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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