Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
