using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
