We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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