That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
