Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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