thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
