I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
