I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
