OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize