your thong is hanging out like whoa
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize